When Your Health Messes With Your Mind
Being diagnosed with a chronic disease — like heart disease, diabetes, cancer, multiple sclerosis — or having a chronic health condition like weakness and pain is a punch in the gut that often leads to a cascade of emotions like fear, grief, anger, and panic.
It is not something we prepare for in life and can rock our very sense of self with overwhelming doubt and insecurity.
Will I be able to live the life I want?
Am I being punished?
What is next for me?
My specialty within psychology is health psychology, which is really the science of what makes people healthy. It is about health promotion, but it is also about helping people adjust to and overcome health challenges and get on about the business of living life.
One of the most interesting parts of health psychology is a field called Psychoneuroimmunology. Psychoneuroimmunology is the intersection of thoughts, beliefs, feelings and the central nervous system and immune function. It is the study of the mind/body connection and how the thoughts and feelings we have affect our bodies’ function.
So, yes, the mind and body are inextricable, and yes, what you are thinking affects everything — especially how you are behaving.
It can be comforting to know there is an adjustment process from the moment we get bad news to making a plan and managing all of the anxiety that comes along with change. There are things we can do to help ourselves by better understanding our reactions.
In my experience, there are five common issues that people with chronic health conditions face. The way in which people navigate these issues affects the course of the illness, mood, relationships — everything.
- Control: What can I do?
Everything feels out of control, and it is not uncommon for folks to either give up trying or become argumentative in order to regain some sense of control. The trick is catching the mind obsessing about factors you can’t control and reminding yourself to focus on what is under your control. There may be days when all you can control is your reaction because that is all the energy you have. That is okay. Each day passes. Renew and start over.
2. Self-Perception: I don’t want to accept the image of my self as sick, and I don’t want others to see me that way either.
Folks who struggle with self-perception may isolate themselves from family and friends because they don’t want others to see them as sick. They can so strongly reject what illness is doing to their bodies that they reject themselves and others in the process. Overcoming self-perception issues is about accepting what is and developing a plan to reclaim what you are able. There can be a lot of grief involved because the losses are real. Sometimes people get so caught up in the losses they forget what strengths are still present.
3. Anger: Why is this happening to me?
Anger is justified and expected. The dilemma is finding a way to move through the anger without getting stuck there. The other dilemma is not inadvertently hurting one’s self while expressing anger toward the disease. Sometimes people chase the “why” things happen and end up in self-blame. The truth is that bad things happen with no explanation. Be angry at the disease, and channel the energy into overcoming.
4. Patience: This is taking too long. I want to feel better now. I can’t take this much longer.
Patience seems to be the hardest pill to swallow for most people. Progress comes in baby steps, and often, there are several steps backward before consistent forward progress manifests. All of that is to be expected. Be very careful of awfulizing or catastrophizing because in the end, it will only delay that forward momentum.
5. Hope: This too will pass.
People with hope — a feeling that better things will come — generally have better outcomes. Hope affects your immune function. Hope affects the choices you make. Hope helps you get through the tough days more easily. The loss of hope can also signal depression. It is important to get professional help when you feel hope is being challenged. See your primary care provider or check out psychologytoday.com for a therapist in your area.
I have so much more to say on the subject. If you want to know more about the 5 issues and how to cope with them in a healthy way, check out my book, Move On Motherf*cker: Live, Laugh, and Let Sh*t Go available on Bookshop.org, BarnesandNoble.com, Amazon.com, and NewHarbinger.com.
