What Intermittent Fasting Taught Me About Fear, Pain, and Empowerment #IntermittentFasting #Empowerment #Mindfulness
I like to try out new self-help ideas mostly because I am curious…. and skeptical. I have been hearing a lot about intermittent fasting. I thought I should try it out. It has blown my mind.
At baseline, I am the kind of person who carries food in her purse for a hunger event. I plan life around meals and eating, which has resulted in lifelong weight battles.
For 10 days now, I have limited my eating to a 6 hour window (between 1:30 PM and 7:30 PM). I have been floored by how much I have learned about self-induced fear, pain, and empowerment.
Let me break down what I observed:
Mornings: I wake up hungry. If I have not eaten by 8 AM, I think: “I’m starving. I’m miserable. I am weak. I can’t do this. I am genetically unable to fast. There is no way I can exercise an empty stomach. I need to eat, or I can’t move. I may throw up.”
Because I am stubborn as hell, I push through it.
I work out, and think, “This isn’t so bad. I don’t feel hungry now. I just needed to move.”
After I work out, I think: “Fuck. I am so hungry I could kill. I can’t take this. I may give in.”
I drink a lot of liquid and think, “Okay, I can do this. I need to find something else to get my mind on.”
At 1:30 PM: “Thank God. Food at last.” I typically eat 2 eggs and think: “These are the best tasting eggs I’ve ever eaten. Delicious!” I note that I enjoy my food in ways that I haven’t in a long time
At 3:30 PM: I again eat something small. At this point, I say: “Shit, you made it through the hardest part. You’ve got this!” I start feeling empowered.
Dinner between 4:30 and 5:30: “The promised land!” It is amazing that I fill up more easily than I thought. Sometimes I think “I deserve” to eat more. If I do, I get bad indigestion.
What I learned: Fasting is like meditation. I am hyper-aware of the moment — how I am feeling, what I am thinking, what I am doing.
At first, my self-talk was like a fear monger. It was overwhelming. It dictated, “I can’t; this is terrible; this is awful.” I was held hostage to the terror of feeling hungry and telling myself that I couldn’t survive it. I realize that I have been playing the role of victim.
Over time, mys self-talk became more positive with success, “I am strong; I can; This is doable.” Waves of hunger come and go. If I can surf the wave, I see that it is surmountable.
It isn’t that I enjoy the pain or self-denial, but there is something comforting and satisfying about facing pain and fear head on. My fear of hunger isn’t justified. It is self-created and can be conquered.
The more I detox myself from mindless eating, emotional eating, and boredom eating, the more I am satisfied. I take my time with food when I eat. I actually taste it, savor it, enjoy it. I feed my body not my hunger.
I realize that I have more control than I believed or utilized. I recognize the power of my negative thoughts over my mood and behavior. I recognize the power of positive thinking and affirmations. I recognize the power of choice, impulse control, and decision making even when it feels like control is dictated by biological drives. All of these are part of me, and ultimately, the more powerful part won — my determination because I empowered it to be so.
These lessons are not just about weight management. They are about life management. We can do what we set our minds to do, what we empower ourselves to do. If we know the pain, accept the pain so that we aren’t afraid of the pain, we can transcend the pain. It doesn’t mean we invite pain or enjoy the pain, but we can see that the pain is tolerable, inconsistent, and is able to teach us about ourselves. When we spend our lives trying to avoid pain, pain controls our lives. When we know we can sit with it, pain loses its power. Pain is the motherfucker that we allow to imprison us.
Life is a journey. Be a witness to your own life. You may be amazed at what you can learn.
