The Science of Blowing Your Own Mind
I talk about action — a lot. I know this approach isn’t for everyone. I know not everyone understands why I push so hard. Change cannot occur without action. We can talk something to death. Understanding may or may not come, but it won’t necessarily lead to change.
Hear me out. Once I explain the “why” behind my thinking, it may help you better embrace the “how.”
Jean Piaget theorized about the development of reasoning, intelligence, and thought processing in humans. I believe his ideas also apply to self-esteem, self-confidence, and identity development.
Early life experiences help us develop schemas, which are scripts or models of how things work. Imagine if you are neglected, abused, bullied, or criticized excessively as a child. You may develop a schema or model that you are weak, lesser than, broken, or wrong. If you tried something new and were ridiculed, you may have developed a schema that you “can’t.”
Our minds grow and expand through a process of assimilation and accommodation. We take new information and compare it to what we already know. We take some data and say, “Yep, that fits with what I know about myself.” It is confirmatory, and we assimilate it with our existing schema.” We may even begin to look for evidence that confirms what we know.
When we encounter data that doesn’t fit with our schema, we may ignore or deny it, or if we encounter it enough, we accommodate it. To accommodate means that we create a new schema. This happens when we have enough data that doesn’t fit with our existing schemas that we are forced to make room for it.
This is why I am so into action. If I can help folks seek out new experiences, new data, new actions, they may be forced to create new schemas that contradict the shitty ones created by negative life experiences. These new schemas won’t erase the shitty ones, but they will create exceptions.
The caveat is that people have to behave differently, engage with different people and scenarios, and experience new things. They can’t create new schemas with the same cast of dysfunctional characters.
Once people have experienced successes, they can no longer claim failures even if they still feel that way. Once people have experienced true love or friendship, they can no longer claim to be unlovable even if they still feel that way.
Not all people cheat on you. Not all people lie. You will not fail at everything. You do have worth. Perhaps you just haven’t been in enough situations that validate your worth. Perhaps you have clung to people who fit your schema of worthlessness. Perhaps you allow too much bullshit in your life because it is all you have known. Time to change. Time for action.
Take a while to reflect on your experiences and schemas. Remember that what feels like truth is only truth to you — at this very time. It may not be truth to others, and it may not be truth for you in the future. We construct our own truths based on how we view the world, and this is alterable if we allow it to be.
Bottom line: try new things. Push the limits of your comfort zone. Act like the person you want to be. See what happens. Demand that others treat you appropriately regardless of what you feel. Open your eyes. See possibilities. Change starts and ends with you. Be the change you seek. Blow your own mind! Keep moving on, motherfucker.
