Substantive Weight Loss Tips and Tricks: Be Smarter Than Yourself
My expertise is human behavior, and my specialty is health, particularly weight loss and habit change. I take a science-based approach to what works and why.
I don’t know about you, but I get super annoyed when I read an article on weight loss that is fluff. I think it feeds the wrong mindset, which is that weight loss is “you just do this,” and “you just tweak this.” If you haven’t figured it out yet, it’s not that easy.
Human beings resist change. Successful weight loss is knowing your own bullshit and being smarter.
Here is my stab at substantive thoughts on weight loss. I hope you find some things you can use.
- Weight loss is best done gradually. Picking a caloric target that is very low may give you faster results but only if you can adhere to it. Often, people do well for a week or two and then rebound into binge eating. Smaller changes and slow will keep it off as you learn better health habits along the way. You also don’t feel as deprived and prone to rebel.
- Successful weight loss is not an intervention. It is a new lifestyle and mindset. People fail with weight loss because they believe they just need to make a change for a certain period of time. Then they will somehow have internalized moderation of unhealthy habits. It doesn’t work that way. Weight loss is embracing a new way of living life. I say “embracing” with a sarcastic smile because it is a bitter pill. Sustained weight loss is an acceptance that life isn’t fair and working around it without being bitter or reactive. (This usually takes a while.)
- Diets that mandate that you cannot have certain foods are not realistic. While you need to reduce or eliminate most junk food in order to lose weight, if you tell yourself that you can’t have something, you will obsess about it and binge. Your brain eventually says “Fuck you, I’m eating X,” and eats a shit ton of it. Find your middle lane, but own that certain foods (sugars and junk foods) are triggers for downward spirals. I guess what I am saying is that in order to be successful, you must be honest with yourself about the facts and not what you wish would be true. It is not that you will never have chocolate again. It is that you can’t each chocolate regularly AND have a reduced weight. You have to choose.
- Perfection is not realistic. You will have good days. You will have not so good days. Learn from both and move on. A good day doesn’t make you a success. A bad day doesn’t make you a failure. Going down the path of self-flagellation will, however, not end well. If you beat yourself up enough, you will understandably give up.
- Avoid alcohol or other substances that reduce your decision making ability or awareness.
- Get a good night’s sleep. When you don’t, you will find you are more hungry. It is the body’s way of seeking energy. If you don’t sleep well, make sure and plan your nutritional intake so that if you want to munch, you have a lot of carrots or celery on hand.
7. I like the idea of daily weight checks first thing in the morning — naked. Why? Because you will see that your weight changes daily sometimes unrelated to your behavior. Weight is just one data point and sometimes not even the most important. What if you make excellent choices and gained a pound the next day, but you feel amazing? Successfully adhering to a plan; feeling good; seeing changes in your body; improving blood pressure or cholesterol. These are all measures of success that may or may not be related to weight. Daily weights can take the avoidance and the fear out of the equation.
8. I also like using a food tracker and measurements. Humans are notorious under-estimators. We think we ate a few nuts (or M&Ms), but when measured, we actually ate 2.5 servings. We forgot that we grabbed a protein shake mid-afternoon. These things add up and easily explain why we are seeing the results we want.
9. It is also all about expectations. What we expect, tends to shape our experience. For example, if we put our food on smaller plates, it looks like more. We expect to have a lot of food. We fill up more easily. In the evening, when we feel the munchies, if we look at our food tracker and see that we’ve had more than enough, we more are more easily satisfied with a big drink of water. Tracking affects our expectations, and our expectations affect our understanding of urges. Isn’t science cool?
9. Create speed bumps for binge eating. Speed bumps are things that will slow you down when you feel like a binge is coming on.
a. Write down all the reasons why you want to lose weight on index cards. Force yourself to read these before you eat the cake.
b. Write down how great you feel after a day of eating healthy and exercising on index cards. Force yourself to read these before you eat chips.
c. Write down how awful you feel after eating junk and not exercising. Force yourself to read these before you eat fast food.
d. On index cards write responses to all of the negative self-talk that says “One won’t hurt” or “You deserve to eat this” or “Fuck it.” (Seriously, you deserve to eat shit that will make you sick because you’re stressed?) Force yourself to read these before you go on a binge.
e. Don’t keep junk that can trigger a binge in the house — where you can grab it easily. The speed bump is that you will have to go out and get it. Keep an abundance of healthy food on hand.
f. Have a list of foods that aren’t daily staples but that you will allow yourself to binge on. This allows you perceived freedom to eat more but not go completely off the rails.
g. Make a deal with yourself that you have to exercise for 10 minutes or journal for 10 minutes or call a friend for 10 minutes before you act on an urge to eat junk. These are speed bumps to see if the urge passes.
h. Exercise (cardio) is the best way to interfere with urges to binge eat.
i. If you do all of these things and still want to eat a hot dog, chips, or brownie, make a deal with yourself that you will eat half of a serving slowly. Ask yourself if you really want to go there. If you do, then go for it, but own it as a choice. You are in control. You are not a victim. Genes and biology play a role, but so does choice. At the very least, show up for the battle in your mind, and own it.
j. If you feel a strong desire to eat unhealthy food, perhaps you force yourself to eat a few boiled eggs (or drink a lot of water) 15 minutes before you eat the unhealthy food. You will have less room for going overboard because you will feel full.
10. Identify your triggers and make a list of things you can do to be ready for them. Party with decadent food? Take your own treats. Emotional eating? Make yourself journal how the emotions feel in your body. Do a relaxation exercise to soothe yourself before you allow any food.
11. What happened yesterday, is yesterday. Today is today. Be in today. Learn from yesterday. Move on. If you chose to go off the rails yesterday, reflect on that. What can you learn? Everyday will not be perfect. That is life. (Note the word “choice.” I am emphasizing that you play an active role. Own it.) Furthermore, since I already told you that this is a long game, one day does not make or break you. The average of your daily choices makes or breaks your success.
12. Ask for help. There are support groups, coaches, therapists and friends ready and willing to help. Just give the word.
With weight loss guidance, I get most annoyed with the implication that there is a silver bullet. There is not. Silver bullets don’t exist despite what social media says. It is one day at a time. You will win some. You will lose some. It simply isn’t possible to have everything you want. You can have the freedom to eat your heart’s desire, or you can a healthy weight. Unless you are genetically gifted, I am not clear how you have both. This is life. There is no “there.” Acceptance in life is about just that — accepting realities that don’t fit the fairy tales we’d like to believe. Perhaps that is the biggest battle of all.
If you’d like to know more about fighting battles of the mind, check out my book, Move on Motherf*cker: Live, Laugh, and Let Sh*t Go on Bookshop.org, BarnesandNoble.com, Amazon.com, or NewHarbinger.com.
