Self-Defeating Beliefs about the Shitshow of Life

  • My shitshow is worse than anyone else’s. Wow. This is judgmental. Your shitshow only feels worse because it’s yours. You don’t have the emotional baggage of other people’s shitshows so it is impossible to know that yours is so much worse. The grass looks greener because you don’t have to tend that lawn.
  • I can control my shitshow. If only. This is magical thinking because the shitshow of life by definition is not controllable. It just is. You can control your own behavior, and you can influence your shitshow by setting boundaries; however, control is an illusion.
  • The shitshow will go away (or get better). This is also magical thinking. By the way, how’s this belief working for you? As I have said, the shitshow of life is life. Accepting that every time you open your eyes, an element of the shitshow will be right there should give you an element of predictability. Leaning into the shitshow takes away its power over you.
  • I am a fraud because other people don’t think I have a shitshow. Seriously, get real. Other people know you have a shitshow and that you’ve just been hiding it. People will like you so much more when you get honest.
  • I am a victim of my shitshow. This is perhaps the most self-defeating shitshow belief of all. Because the shitshow is life, you have a role. You can own it, or the role can own you. Things won’t always go your way, but you decide what to do with it. Don’t give your shitshow the power.
  • There are places where the shitshow does not exist. Again, this is a form of denial. The shitshow of life is everywhere — no matter where you go — it’s waiting for you.
  • I give myself permission to be imperfect.
  • I give myself permission to be real and human.
  • I give myself permission to accept and celebrate the wild, crazy ride of life without having to judge it.
  • I give myself permission to know that I am not alone.
  • I give myself permission to laugh instead of cry.
  • I give myself permission to detach, to watch shit unfold without having to take responsibility for it.
  • I give myself permission to allow others their own mistakes.
  • I give myself permission to stop trying to fix, rescue, or intervene.
  • I give myself permission to focus on myself.
  • I give myself permission to disown the shame associated with the shitshow.
  • I give myself permission to create boundaries around the shitshow.
  • I give myself permission to move on motherfucker to more important issues in my life.

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