Self-Defeating Belief 1: Work

I am writing a short series about self-defeating beliefs I see on a regular basis. We all have filters that affect (or distort) how we experience ourselves, the world, and others. These filters are not rational, and while we may see that they are ridiculous at times, they still play a role. They are self-defeating when they are unrecognized and unchecked such that they influence our choices in ways that are not healthy.

Today, I focus on work.

Self-Defeating Belief 1: If I work hard enough, I will get ahead (meaning: caught up). Others will see my worth.

There are several issues with this distortion. First, the problem with telling yourself that you will get ahead is that it is a blatant lie. There is always more work waiting to be done, and life becomes about living for a day that is ever-elusive. The second problem is that your worth has no need to be earned. It is inherent, and when you believe you are required to earn it (or earn approval), it allows others to control you. The people around you know this motivates you, and they will use it against you.

Simply hearing this message will not magically change your drive to achieve. You must work to see it in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and walk it back.

I caution you to be aware of the lies you tell yourself along the way. Living for tomorrow comes at a huge cost, particularly if tomorrow doesn’t come in the form you wish. Just as dangerous is giving others control of your mindset with excessive approval seeking. Your worth is already baked in. No need to work for it.