See What You’ve Been Missing: Change the Filter Settings in Your Brain
Your personality is everything that makes you — well, you. Half of your personality is genetic (like if you are a pessimist or an optimist) and the other half comes from early life experiences (what your parents and important others teach you).
Your personality includes preferences for ways of being in the world (alone, with others, organization), receiving information (facts, intuition, tone), and react (easily upset, calmly, impulsively).
Your personality includes sets of beliefs about the world (good/bad things happen to me, I am/am not good enough, I can/cannot trust others). These beliefs are brain filters, and all information runs through those filters.
Imagine the sheer amount of data your brain processes at any given moment. You have five senses that are constantly taking in information from the outside world. Your brain is actively deciding what to attend to at any given moment. For example, if I ask you how you foot feels in right now, you could tell me, but you weren’t necessarily aware of it before I asked. There just isn’t enough capacity to pay attention to all of that data, but it is there. Attention is a choice.
Imagine this: I am a pessimistic person. My brain filters out all of the data that doesn’t fit with my negative view. I either actively ignore or simply miss all of the positive things that either seems unimportant, irrelevant, or unbelievable.
Imagine this: I see myself as not good enough. My brain filters out all of the data that don’t fit. I discount my accomplishments as flukes. I tell myself that compliments from others are others just being nice. I tune out my good deeds as “nothing.”
Imagine this: I get so busy with life that I miss the beauty around me. I am so laser focused on what I need to do next that I ignore smiles, rush through beautiful days, don’t enjoy the company and laughter of family and friends. My brain filters out the things “unnecessary” to my “to do” list.
The brain is an awesomely efficient assistant that filters out mega data that would simply overwhelm our system. At the same time, we need to supervise the process by checking the filter settings in our brain — those based on our personality, which aren’t always in our best interest.
The filter settings may only take in information that confirms dysfunctional beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world. We may get so busy with life that we filter out anything that is distracting from the task at hand. Any way you look at it, unchecked, automatic filters are not good for the long game.
What is the solution? The good news is that you can change the filter settings in your brain. The bad news is that it takes daily effort. It isn’t a check box. The first step is being aware of your own biases and tendencies. The second step is becoming a watchful observer of yourself. The third step is forcing yourself to think and act differently.
Another method is dedicating a day to look for specific things like how many people are friendly to you or how many people say “thank you;” forcing yourself to breathe deeply and notice 10 symbols of beauty around you; putting aside technology to eat, taste, and enjoy a meal with family/friends. You get the gist.
Try journaling. Try meditation (see Jon Kabat-Zinn on Youtube). Ask a friend for feedback. Do all of these things. Most of all, though, don’t stop learning about yourself. I promise you that your story is the most interesting one out there.
Take some time to reflect on the filter settings on your brain. What do you want to change? Then, go about the business of life with a new filter that pays attention to what you want to change. No need to judge it. Just watch it. Catch it. Consider it. Nail it. #MOMF #CBT #Mindfulness #SelfActualization #Bias
