Mid-Life Crisis or Low Bullshit Tolerance?
I am commonly asked if there is really such a thing as mid-life crisis. I know that, according to the research, the answer is, “no.” At the same time, I commonly see people struggle with the meaning of life in the fourth and fifth decades of life.
Something is absolutely happening mid-life. Perhaps the problem is the word “crisis.” It isn’t a crisis in sense that there is something urgent, yet, there is often an inner turmoil around purpose, meaning, happiness, relationships, and direction.
According to Erik Erikson’s Theory of Psychosocial Development, this makes perfect sense. Erikson proposed that between the ages of 40–65, people are faced the task of resolving Generativity vs. Stagnation. This means people are faced with the task of determining whether they will use their time life to get shit done or give up and stagnate.
Generativity vs. Stagnation simply put: I finally realize that I am not going to live forever. I’ve lived half my life. What have I accomplished? WTF does it all mean? What is my purpose on this Earth? What do I want to do with the time that I have left? How can I make it count? What makes me happy? Shit, I better get moving!
Here is what I have to add. I think that when this realization happens, we have a major drop in bullshit tolerance. (So, I got this term from a good friend who would give us at work a verbal report on her bullshit tolerance during meetings…. was a good way to share her mood so we knew how to behave.)
Because we begin to distill what really matters, realize how fast time goes, and value what time is left, there is no time for bullshit. We want to cut through the bullshit and get to the point. We want to cut out the bullshit because it is a waste.
I think people in the low bullshit tolerance stage prefer to be honest and move on; have an easier time cutting bait on drama; care a lot less what the bullshitters around them are saying; and are more likely to tell bullshitters to fuck off.
Is this a mid-life crisis? I don’t think so. I actually think it is healthy to take stock, and it is so liberating to realize how much waste you are able to cut from your life when you cut out the bullshit. What I really like is that it highlights how much is actually under our control. We are finally getting to the point where we use our time and energy for our own happiness. It isn’t being selfish. It’s what we realize we should have been doing all along….taking responsibility for our happiness and creating a bullshit free zone.
So, if this is you, don’t feel guilty. You are right where you should be. If this is not you yet, consider making it happen now! The freedom that comes with realizing that you don’t have to put up with listening to people judge you, people trying to control you, people wasting your time is exhilarating. MOMF!
