Fear, Meaning, and the Lies Your Brain Tells You
Humans are drawn to understand — even when it keeps us tethered to dysfunction. We believe if we understand “why,” it will somehow transform our being. I think it is because we crave meaning and control, but the issue is that the meaning we make is largely dependent on what we choose to see.
This whole process is a house of cards. Control is an illusion, and the drive for control is often related to a deep sense of insecurity and fear, which are not rational. If insecurity, fear, and a desire to control inform meaning, it is easy to see that the meaning is likely to be sketch.
When the times and conditions in which we live are uncertain, it stokes the whole misinformed process. And, here we are….
Adam Galinsky, Ph.D. is a social psychologist and author of Inspire (which is a great book!). He talks about an experiment where he and his team gave research participants unsolvable tasks under variable levels of uncertainty. They then asked participants to view a “visual static,” which looks like television static or endless black specks that show nothing. Galinsky and his team noted that uncertainty, worry, and fear resulted in people seeing patterns, like conspiracies, that don’t exist. Bottom line: When people feel uncertain or anxious, they often go to extreme lengths to impost meaning — even if it is incredibly distorted from reality.
Galinsky goes further to suggest that uncertain and difficult times lead people to seek a forceful leader, even if that leader is deeply flawed. The reason is that a forceful leader conveys certainty and direction in an otherwise unsure time. In this light, it is easy to see how cults form and how people will follow cult leaders even to their own demise. Galinsky states, “fear doesn’t hear.”
If you are like me, having a greater understanding of how humans think and how our brains sometimes go astray is useful. It helps to remind me to pause and question and self-soothe when I feel afraid. It is good to push back on our first conclusions on meaning, especially when times or circumstances are unsure. I also feel like it helps in our relationships with others who draw wholly different conclusions that our own so that we can approach them with a sense of empathy. They are afraid too, and sometimes the quickest answer they grab isn’t the best.
To fight this inherent tendency, take a pause. Keep an open mind, and most importantly find space to tolerate uncertainty. This takes practice. It starts with noticing and redirecting your thoughts. Maybe you also need some deep breathing or calming exercises, but learn to observe without having to conclude or label. See what happens when you sit with things that are undone. What might you find there?
I write books to help people better understand how and why we as human do what we do and how to think, feel, and act in healthier ways. I try to do so with kindness, humor, and empathy. Check out my books.
