Badass Exists in the Everyday
When my kids were younger, they would often ask me what career I would choose if I had to opt for another. Despite their persistence, I gave the same unsatisfactory response, “I would be a psychologist.”
I just could not imagine any other profession for myself.
Don’t get me wrong; the work I do is difficult, challenging, heart breaking sometimes. At the same time, I have the extraordinary privilege of hearing the most beautiful, stunning, and awe-inspiring stories of human survival and transcendence.
In fact, the stories I hear have ruined me for blockbuster books.
It is endlessly fascinating to explore, understand, and learn how people have overcome adversity in daily life. I am less interested in rags to riches stories, fame, and glory. I am enamored with stories of people who confront internal demons, break cycles of abuse, and conquer fear in the everyday.
You may wonder why I am interested in these ordinary successes. It is because I don’t see them as ordinary at all. When you see the devastation I have seen, there is no ordinary success. There is only badass success.
What strikes me is that while I am listening to folks’ stories, they have no idea how badass they are. I point out that if they were reading their narratives under the guise of someone else, they would more easily recognize the badass vibe. There is a bias against recognizing our own badass nature — what we have achieved and what we are doing well.
There is often only self-criticism.
Folks tend to be embarrassed or ashamed to tell their stories. It is this sense of shame and judgment that creates social isolation — like no one could ever understand. There is what happened; there is judgment of what happened; and then there is the sickening feeling of being alone with all of it. In many circumstances, it is the isolation that causes psychological disorders. Just having the courage to walk through my door is remarkable, yet people struggle to recognize any of this.
One of the most healing parts of therapy is having a sense of connection and acceptance in the presence of another human being. It is feeling a bit less alone. I wish I could change this about the world — the feeling of disconnection — shared suffering experienced alone.
This is why I wrote Badass Stories: Grit, Growth, Hope, and Healing in the Sh*tshow. I want to help others feel less alone, isolated, and afraid by sharing stories and themes that I believe will resonate. I hope to help readers gain perspective on what makes each of us badass.
Being able to hear in others’ stories is, at times, agonizing, but I have found love, healing, growth and hope there. I have a deep appreciation for the opportunities I have had to witness resilience within the human condition. I want to share that.
Badass Stories: Grit, Growth, Hope, and Healing in the Sh*tshow is my love story to the good in humanity, the inspiring in humanity, and the courage in humanity.
You keep me believing.
Available for pre-order wherever you buy books.
