Here is a truth: Givers attract takers. It is an energy thing.
Say you are on a boat that is sinking. You can see the shoreline, and you are sure that you can swim there. Hope is not lost, but you are on the boat with a taker (either someone who is selfish or just incredibly needy). You know that the taker isn’t likely to do the healthy thing — which is to swim to shore.
Here are your options:
a) You can tell your fellow passenger that you both need to swim to shore, encourage him to swim hard…
Maybe things will get better if I go on vacation…..
Hot damn! There is the new book on how to help your partner ____________! (fill in the blank)
Have you heard about the new diet that will get rid of all body fat in 6 weeks? You can eat all the vegetables you want, and you don’t even miss other food groups.
These ideas sell like cheap real estate because they mislead people into believing that change will be easy — painless — and that is what we all want to believe. Right? Be honest.
The problem is that this…
Why do I chew my nails?
Why do I keeping putting up with people treating me like shit when I know it is wrong?
Why do I keep going back to relationships that are unhealthy?
Why do I keep saying yes when I want to say no?
It is so sexy to chase the why. We feel like if we dig deeply enough we will uncover a hidden treasure trove of self-knowledge and understanding that will transform our entire being. We tell ourselves that if we understand “why,” everything will change. …
Seneca was a philosopher from the Roman Imperial period, yet it seems like he is writing for the present day. His quote strongly reinforces one of the lessons I’m learning from Covid: When I am given the time I otherwise beg for, I waste too much of it.
I am guilty of bemoaning that life is too short, and it is, yet I have to take responsibility for what I can control, which is what I do with the fleeting time that I have. This ancient quote is an excellent reminder to use what you’ve got.
When I think about…
My expertise is human behavior, and my specialty is health, particularly weight loss and habit change. I take a science-based approach to what works and why.
I don’t know about you, but I get super annoyed when I read an article on weight loss that is fluff. I think it feeds the wrong mindset, which is that weight loss is “you just do this,” and “you just tweak this.” If you haven’t figured it out yet, it’s not that easy.
Human beings resist change. Successful weight loss is knowing your own bullshit and being smarter.
Here is my stab at…
Recently someone told me of an initiative in the workplace called FIFO (Figure It the Fuck Out). I still smile when I think about it. When you face a problem, instead of being paralyzed by not knowing what to do, you FIFO….. Or, instead of continually bringing up problems for others to fix, you FIFO.
The simplicity of the message to workers is perfection.
Permission to FIFO empowers people to problem solve on their own. Making mistakes, fixing mistakes, learning what works. It is all baked into FIFO, and it is sanctioned by leadership.
Think a bit more about the…
Like everyone else, I have negative self-talk. Self-talk isn’t necessarily rational, and it can wreak havoc on our wellness when it is unchecked.
Since the pandemic hit, I have had persistent fleeting thoughts of “I’m so depressed.” In reality, I am not depressed, but I am so over social distancing, masking, and having nothing to do. (Note: I agree with and participate in the necessity of these things, but I still hate them.)
I’m so over the oppressive negativity in our society and the fact that we can’t even agree on basic truths any longer. Granted, I am lucky to…
Being diagnosed with a chronic disease — like heart disease, diabetes, cancer, multiple sclerosis — or having a chronic health condition like weakness and pain is a punch in the gut that often leads to a cascade of emotions like fear, grief, anger, and panic.
It is not something we prepare for in life and can rock our very sense of self with overwhelming doubt and insecurity.
Will I be able to live the life I want?
Am I being punished?
What is next for me?
My specialty within psychology is health psychology, which is really the science of what…
I once saw a physician (Dr. X) who consulted me for depressed mood. He had no energy; he couldn’t get motivated; his mood was flat; his concentration was poor; and his performance at work was suffering. He noticed that he just didn’t care about the people anymore, and this was very unlike him.
I understand the extreme pressures on healthcare workers and the risks of burnout and depression. I reviewed Dr. X’s history, and there was nothing that stood out as an obvious contributor to his complaints. I reviewed his stressors, and there was nothing out of the ordinary except…
2020 has been personally heartbreaking, and it isn’t a direct result of Covid-19. I have not had Covid-19; I have not lost any loved ones to the deadly virus; and I have not lost my job. In that light, I have been incredibly fortunate.
My heartbreak around 2020 comes from a dawning realization that the world I believed to exist either does not exist or no longer exists. I feel as if my eyes have been opened to some very harsh realities of human existence and behavior.
In my disbelief, I have wondered if my experience is part of aging…