One of my favorite questions to ask executives is: What do you want your legacy to be? The really good executives respond with genuine modesty…. something like: “It’s not about me… it’s about the team” or “If I left tomorrow, things would be just fine without me.” But I always…

I never learned in school that narcissism could be contagious. In fact, I would have genuinely laughed at the sentiment if someone asked me (ten years ago) if narcissism was contagious. It’s not funny anymore. I’ve known all along that fear is contagious, and I’ve written much about that. Fear…

I’ve been hearing more people say that they don’t want talk of systemic racism (and sometimes even talk of America’s history of racism) in schools. The argument is that it will make White kids feel bad about themselves. Beyond the idea that we have to talk about history regardless of…

I’m kicking off a series highlighting the tools I use to coach executives. They are skills everyone can use. Here we go! Have you ever had a boss/teacher/coach/parent who only told you what you were doing wrong? Who never gave you a pat on the back for what you accomplished…

I’ve been hearing a lot of dramatic debate around kids masking in schools. I’m a parent and a psychologist. I’ve given it some real thought, and we as a society know more than we think. Straight up — the parent in me doesn’t want my kids to have to wear…

Years ago, I recall being consulted about a young boy whose father was in prison for a terrible crime. The child wanted to visit his father in prison, but the mom was conflicted. Should she exposure her son to the prison environment, which could be traumatic? …

WHAT IF thinking is a hallmark of anxiety, but it is not reality. WHAT IF I have a brain tumor? WHAT IF something terrible happens to someone I love? WHAT IF the plane goes down? WHAT IF we put a spin on WHAT IF thinking….? WHAT IF we spend all…

Ordinarily, I tell people not to make big decisions in times of crisis. Covid-19 was no exception. The big question I saw folks grapple with was: Do I still want to be in this relationship? The big decision was: Do I leave the relationship? What Covid-19 did (among many other…

From time to time, teachers, health care workers, parents — they all feel discouraged. They feel like they aren’t making enough of a difference in the overwhelming circumstances of people they encounter. Helpers want to help. When I hear their discouragement, I am reminded of my own story — the…