Aug 5Love Stories and Other BullshitI believe in love. Seriously, I do. I just don’t believe in fairytale love. I believe in real love — the messy kind, the annoying kind, the kind that takes a lot of work. In order to get to real love, you have to cut the bullshit, and this involves…Relationships3 min read
Jul 14Addicted to Love? MaybeOver the years, I have worked with a lot of folks who ask me: “Am I addicted to bad relationships?” Early on in my career, I would smile and assure the person “absolutely not.” It was simply impossible in my mind because I saw addiction as being associated with a…Relationships4 min read
Jun 24It’s Just a Chapter — Not the Whole StoryBreakups suck. They just do. Even if we know they are for the best. Maybe it is because while we are in a relationship we are writing the rest of the story in our heads. We are drafting what could be instead of focusing on what is. Forecasting in relationships…Love4 min read
Mar 20Coaching Tool 3: Meta-AwarenessMeta-awareness is a crucial element of psychology training — that is learning to converse with others while simultaneously noticing oneself conversing with others. Think of it as split awareness. You are fully engaged in the conversation but also aware of your thoughts, reactions, and the dynamics of the interaction (i.e…Leadership4 min read
Feb 2Coaching Tool 2: LegacyOne of my favorite questions to ask executives is: What do you want your legacy to be? The really good executives respond with genuine modesty…. something like: “It’s not about me… it’s about the team” or “If I left tomorrow, things would be just fine without me.” But I always…Executive Coaching2 min read
Jan 21Apparently Narcissism is ContagiousI never learned in school that narcissism could be contagious. In fact, I would have genuinely laughed at the sentiment if someone asked me (ten years ago) if narcissism was contagious. It’s not funny anymore. I’ve known all along that fear is contagious, and I’ve written much about that. Fear…Education5 min read
Nov 7, 2021It is Really White Guilt or Just Empathy? Let’s Talk about it.I’ve been hearing more people say that they don’t want talk of systemic racism (and sometimes even talk of America’s history of racism) in schools. The argument is that it will make White kids feel bad about themselves. Beyond the idea that we have to talk about history regardless of…Racism4 min read
Nov 6, 2021Coaching Tool 1: Train the Brain for AccomplishmentI’m kicking off a series highlighting the tools I use to coach executives. They are skills everyone can use. Here we go! Have you ever had a boss/teacher/coach/parent who only told you what you were doing wrong? Who never gave you a pat on the back for what you accomplished…Mental Health5 min read
Sep 10, 2021Unintended Consequences of the School Masking DebateI’ve been hearing a lot of dramatic debate around kids masking in schools. I’m a parent and a psychologist. I’ve given it some real thought, and we as a society know more than we think. Straight up — the parent in me doesn’t want my kids to have to wear…Teachers4 min read
Sep 1, 2021The Real World is AND not ORYears ago, I recall being consulted about a young boy whose father was in prison for a terrible crime. The child wanted to visit his father in prison, but the mom was conflicted. Should she exposure her son to the prison environment, which could be traumatic? OR Should she keep…Society3 min read